i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

The Comfort of Titus Pullo

I don't know about y'all, but I did get caught up in HBO's series Rome; sharply written, highly interesting stories, and, of course, very nice eye candy. So, finally Tivo'ed the whole first season and I think it might really end up saving my ass. It's been really tough around here lately; it's not pretty to be in the midst of a gasping, last breath, on it's last legs marriage, and I've just really been in an ugly place (and behaving pretty badly while visiting it, thanks very much). At different stages, different movies and shows, have been constant companions to me. I'll watch the same one over and over, very OCD, but I love the small nuances in some of my favorites. Captain Wentworth's hand on Anne's waist in "Persuasion", Joel being the only one to find Maggie's chair comfortable in "Northern Exposure", Bud and Lynn's fight scene in "L.A. Confidential", Randolph and Cristabel's one day less scene in "Possesion", Karen and Denys's porch scene in "Out of Africa". These and more have provided for me a strange solace and comfort at various times, and so it is with Pullo and Rome. I can watch, over and over, how he bull in a china shops his way through his life; he's a good man at heart, but, boy, some of the things he does....well, makes my behavior look like a church picnic, but he has the character and strength, the need and desire, to make a decent way for himself, and it looks like, in the last episode of the season, he may have a shot at it. I'm sure he'll always make wrong and violent mistakes, but the passion with which he loves and lives for the people he cares about, well, it just gives me some hope. Thanks, Pullo, for holding my hand through this bad time and thanks, too, to those of you in my real life who've held my hand and gotten my back. You've talked me down from the roof many a time and it's a comfort more than you know.